May 25th, 2011
What to Say to Someone You have Never Met Before
There you are, face to face with someone who interests you. How do some guys
and gals just burst out with their next line. being themselves, confident,
and making a warm connection?
Here's a principle of Improvisation that may help: "Yes, and ..." This means
acknowledging what's happening and building on the situation. If you're
intrigued by someone new, but lacking some words to kick things off, try
making a comment or asking a question about something you have in common.
You may be thinking, "Um...what could we possibly have in common since we
have never even spoken?" Lots! First, you're both there. So, what's happening
there? Music, a performance, the decor, the theme for the night, if either of
you is wearing something unique, maybe a friend in common - basically,
anything that's going on. If something unusual happens around you, grab the
opportunity and point out the fun! By talking about what's going on around
you, you start connected with each other, rather than betting on
yet-to-be-discovered connections. Once you're talking, less obvious
connections will happen naturally.
At the very least, whatever you say about what's happening in the moment will
be more connective than any zingers from this giant list of ridiculous pick up lines.
By the way, the same "Yes, and ..." technique works for making professional
connections at business functions, though probably with less flirting. ;)
April 5th, 2011
Introducing ImprovDates ... for Couples!
Off-Broadway show? Done it.
U2 tickets? Rocked it.
Last-minute weekend romp in Paris? Um ... it's in the works.
What's that? Something new? A place my special someone and I can have a lot of fun, make new friends, and deepen our connection? I am so there.
Introducing ImprovDates ... for Couples!
Whether you are on an early date, in a budding relationship, or are full-bloom married, a night out at ImprovDates for Couples will be a night to remember - and inspire your spark with one another.
How it works:
No prior improv experience is necessary! ImprovDates provides the interactive games and playful questions; you show up ready to have a great time meeting new people and laughing a lot with your partner. We start as a large group to shake off the workday and get your energy going. We continue by playing games in smaller groups and one-on-one with your partner (the one you came with). You'll go home feeling invigorated and talk about the shared moments with wide smiles.
Why we're doing it:
We meet a lot of people already in couples who obviously can't come to our singles events, yet they love the idea of a playful evening out. The same principles of improvisation that make a great date also support a great lasting relationship. ImprovDates for Couples is our answer.
April 5th, 2011
Most Recent Dating Deal - How About We ...
Any relationship is ultimately about experiencing life together. ImprovDates is delighted to introduce you, our super-savvy daters, to How About We ..., a new online dating site that makes matches by celebrating your ideas for great dates - getting you face to face as soon as possible.
Propose a Date, Find a Mate! (that's our tagline for them)
After entering some basic info at HowAboutWe, you complete your profile with date ideas that intrigue, amuse, or just sound good to you. Every day HowAboutWe sends your date ideas to singles who might like them. You'll also get an email with kindred concepts from potential matches. You can check out their profiles, message each other, and do something you know you'll both enjoy!
Brian Schechter, one of the founders, chimed in, "We think people are at their best when they're doing things they really like to do. So, go on magical dates, simple dates, wild dates, sweet dates - that's what HowAboutWe is all about."
We at ImprovDates completely agree. That's why we've partnered with HowAboutWe to secure a 25% discount for ImprovDaters using code "improvdates" when you sign up.
So...what do you want to do on a date?
Check out more partner discounts here.
March 20th, 2011
The Perfect Email to Initiate A Date
By ImprovDates and Larry Sharpe, the Neo-Sage
So you're excited to continue connecting with your ImprovDates match, but are now faced with the dreaded blank email screen. Communicating in-person is easier, that's why there's a higher likelihood of a date in an event where you get to meet someone (*cough* ImprovDates) rather than trying to build a relationship through email.
Feelings and attitudes are harder to read in email. The more direct the method of contact, the more your personality can come through. So let's simplify and minimize your emailing and get you two face-to-face as soon as possible. Here's an email template to do just that:
Subject line - there's no need to go overboard with this. Keep it simple:
"ImprovDates: We matched!"
(It lets the person know where they know you from and what you’re going to talk about.)
Body of message:
(We’re fans of "Dear" which keeps the mood intimate. Friends say "Hi," but take your pick.)
It was great talking with you about ____.
(Something memorable/unique from the conversation; this is why there's an area on your MatchCards to jot notes.)
How is ____ going?
(An open-ended question about a detail of their life; it shows you were listening and keeps the conversation flowing until you meet.)
Let’s keep up the energy we started when we ____.
(Something from the ice-breaker game you played together.)
Does Tuesday or Wednesday work for a quick phone call/cup of coffee/drink/that awesome thing you talked about doing together/etc.?
(Offer two times and specify how you want to move things forward.)
Your cell number
March 8th, 2011
Following Up with Your Matches - Say "Yes, and ..."
You've enjoyed an evening of ImprovDates, checked off "Yes" on your match cards to a bunch of your dates, and now you get an email saying - You Have ImprovDates Matches! The question: do you reach out, or wait to be contacted? Who is supposed to reach out first? Well...
One of the guiding principles of Improv is "Yes, and..." It means saying "Yes" to the situation you're creating with your partner and then adding something positive. It’s the difference between saying "Hi" and "Hi, that’s a nice jacket." At ImprovDates, "Yes, and ..." is built into each part of the event - from your first greeting, to the brainteasers, to the group warm-ups, and games you play with your dates while you get to know them and laugh together.
Once you receive the email with your matches, recognize that you've both already said "Yes" to one another, and stick with the pattern that's brought you this far. Pick your "and ...", and add a positive action (such as hitting "compose" on a sparkling new email). Which feels more empowering? Putting off the conversation you both enjoyed during your ImprovDate? Or continuing a conversation cut-short by the slide whistle?
Whatever your "and ..." may be, just remember it's the completion of a much bigger obstacle you've already overcome. You both already said "Yes."
Still thinking about what to say to initiate? Next week we'll share with you the perfect email to get the ball rolling.
February 18th, 2011
When a Woman Asks... (#1)
When a woman asks if she should wear a jacket, ALWAYS tell her, "Yes." If it's too warm outside the worst that will happen is she'll shrug and take it off, but if it's cold she may complain that you didn't protect her and advise she put it on.
February 15th, 2011
De-mystifying Guys Tip (#1)
Top three movies for gals to learn about guys: Swingers; I Love You, Man; When Harry Met Sally.
Which movies have brought you insights? Contact us to share
October 12th, 2010
One for the Broken Hearted
(originally posted by Zohar at StopStressingOut.com on Feb 12th, 2010)
My favorite dying line of a movie ...
Harold: I love you.
Maude: Harold... that's wonderful. Go and love some more.
So often we get caught up in the unknown of what will happen after what we're used to ends. That unknown is scary. There's more to the story than we can see at such dramatic times.
You mean the story goes on? I have to love again? But it won't be the same!!
Everything changes and evolves.
I hope you've seen the movie Up. If not, I'm not giving much away when I tell you that the growth depicted of the kid --> old man's love for his friend-->wife is so moving that when I saw it half the audience was in tears. It's a glorious relationship.
But It's when he takes the leap and allows himself to love the scout and bird that he's finally open to the next chapter of his life. And since he's alive, he might as well live. So he makes active choices to decide what he's going to do and who he wants to join him for that part of the journey.
What's the next chapter of your life? What do you want to do?
July 1st, 2010
How Improv Makes it Easy
By Annie Gleason
It takes a lot of courage to introduce yourself to an attractive stranger, even if you're at a party with friends. If you think about it too much, you can talk yourself out of meeting anyone. Maybe they're taken. Maybe they won't be attracted to you. Maybe...you fill in the blank. You wish it wasn't so confusing. Sounds like you would quickly benefit from an improv environment.
Improv will help take the fear out of expressing yourself. It consists of short, fun exercises in spontaneity. There are a couple of rules (which also apply in life):
- Always make your partner look good - this is usually done by acknowledging what the person said and adding your views and opinions. You don't need to be an actor, hilarious, or wacky, all you need is the patience to hear what your partner is saying and respond honestly.
- There are no mistakes, only gifts. Find what's unique and cool about what just happened or was just said and use it to take the conversation to a new place. Thus the classic scene in which she drops her groceries, feels clumsy, he bends to help and because she goes with it a conversation (and relationship) ensues.
If dating seems to be an eternal pop-quiz, where the answers seem just out of reach when you need them, consider an ImprovDates event. The supportive environment they create is one where anything can happen and is accepted - where you finally get to just be yourself.
San Francisco-based dating coach Annie Gleason teams up with highly motivated singles who desire to experience real change in their love lives. She teaches how to effectively attract, date and build a loving, lasting relationship with a high quality compatible mate. Find out more at GetALoveLife.net